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Next, I hear “self-determination.” I have that. And a lot of it. That kid – me – is me now. Saying, “Leave me, world. Leave me to my youth.” Adaptable youth.

The world is always changing and always repeating itself. Neither static nor absolute. Stagnant and growing. Time revolving.

Listening to what’s next.

Efficacy = “I can.”

Agency = “I will.”

Whatever.

What to be = “vision.”

What to do = “mission.”

With that: I have no mission.

Rewarding work? I don’t need that. I don’t care about others’ collective opinions, so-called truths. So-called data. Collecting data that doesn’t matter.

None of it – the data, the opinions, the so-called truths – matters to me, so who cares? (Not me.)

For this reason, I’m not invested nor dedicated. This seems to be correct.

I want chaos and anarchy.

I listen to a map quote from Alice in Wonderland. Without one (a map), I can go anywhere, but I may or may not get somewhere. Not the exact quote, but it has me asking, “What’s my somewhere?”

I don’t want a destination.

Do I choose to be in my current, physical place? No. I saw this as fitting into my chaos. A theory, if you will.

Honesty, I think, may be the most selfish of traits/actions, and a good one, I think.

They say a plan that’s put away isn’t worked on or completed.

“Priorities,” is said.

“Need to” first. Needs related to success and the time to do it. The planning time is part of the priority time, so needs have to be assessed, realized, and acted on immediately.

What, then, defines the time I’m wasting?

At work – when working? No.

Seeking answers? With defined goals? No.

Seeking answers without a map? Yes. A waste of time.

Seeking new routes without a defined purpose? No. This feels creative and joyous.

Where, then, is the disconnect between no-map seeking for specific answers and no-map seeking for newness?

It’s not “where,” it’s “what.” And that means increasing joy and swelling the heart isn’t about the work but, instead, involves disregarding and dismissing whatever could lie ahead.

The What is merely and nearly ahead.

Dan Jones

Author Dan Jones

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