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The Mauritanian wasn’t much more of a bleeding heart than other films praise blood and guts.

I’m not knocking it. But the most realistic scene of the true story (not questioning its authenticity) was when Jodie foster had a cough and took a throat lozenge during one of her first scenes. No close up of the cough drop. No hint that she’ll later have cancer. No character trait of one who hogs on Halls. Just a sore throat. Nice work.

I just wish it was Maur-entertain-ian.

(Alternate titles for this article were: The Mauritanian Candidate, The Mauritanian Chronicles, or Will the Real Mauritanian Please Stand Up? – Not so Fast Matt Damon)

Tampered-with poster for your amusement.