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On occasion, I receive and tune into free satellite radio (whenever I get a new car or the silver gods of the sky like to be generous). I learn of song titles, covers/remakes, and lyrics that astound me. I’m truly, literally, mind blown. My head actually explodes.

And so will yours, on how moronic I am.

Here are some recent examples:

Example #1: I never knew Prince’s song was called “Raspberry Beret.” (I didn’t know that’s what they said.)

Example #2: Chuck Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen”? I either don’t remember or never heard it? Not sure. But what the heck is going on?! It’s “Surfin’ USA” by The Beach Boys. All over St. Louis?!

Example #3: The Big Bopper’s song “Chantilly Lace” … never knew that’s what he said. (Some of us are simply uninformed morons that need a radio display for song titles and lyrics. I thought Jay-Z said “99 bottles” in “99 Problems.” You can laugh it up. The difference for me is that I actually like “Chantilly Lace.”)

Example #4: Buddy Holly’s “Early in the Morning” 1956? Ray Charles’ “I Got a Woman” 1957? And some controversy over Bobby Darin’s “Early in the Morning” in 1958? (There’s just a nonsense amount of info and history out there.) Ray Charles even says, “Early in the morning” in his song.

Example #5: Jackie Wilson’s forgotten hits – just a reminder of why I never went wild over Amy Winehouse. Winehouse and company are a bunch of copycats. (How many readers did I just lose?)

Example #6: “You’re No Good” existing before Linda Ronstadt? (Another example of obliviousness, really.)

And so much more. FM, you’ve been holding out on us for years.

Dan Jones

Author Dan Jones

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