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There are a lot of shows out there, and it’s easy to dislike many of them. I have high standards. I’m picky. But I’m also open-minded and give so many a chance.

Am I the most fun person to contribute to a binge-watching powwow? Not usually.

I don’t even binge. When episodes are dropped to viewers in tightly-packed bundles, I space them out as if they were aired weekly. I see it as not eating my salad, appetizer, and meal all at once.

I’d like you to know I’ve written this article not to vent or brag or blog. I’m not a fan of blogging. I detest whenever I say “I” in an article. But the following is my opinion. The facts are only how I perceive them … with an educated, working brain.

(Is the above a disclaimer?)

I hope not.

 

Alright, ready? Here we go.

I hate Stranger Things. I hate everything about it.

Maybe you’re not surprised. I wasn’t. Not after the 2nd and 3rd seasons.

A fellow filmmaker friend of mine felt the 1st season was overrated.

That may be. I enjoyed the style and story and how it brought families together, however, never felt the urge to rewatch it or buy it.

Now, we’re up to the 4th season of Stranger Things. And it’s gotten stupider.

Originally, my family and I wished the show would have ended as a limited series. The Sinner, Big Little Lies, and End of the F***ing World are a few others that could have ended after one season.

I’ve, unfortunately, tested out another first episode of another Stranger Things season and feel it is my duty to save all of you.

I’m not on my high horse. I’m not better than anyone. Actually, I’ve only ridden a horse two to four times in my entire life. (Three?) So, I wouldn’t be very proficient at leading a cavalry that way.

On the other hand, I have to let you all know that I hate Stranger Things, because it is popular and poopy. Maybe it’s not as bad as Thirteen Reasons Why or so many others out there, but the show is poop.

Strangers Things doesn’t deserve any fancy adjectives. It’s just poop.

  • Non-token token characters
  • Constant throwbacks, absurdly relating today with yesterday (How many people do you know who worked at home in the mid-80’s as a telemarketer and then was accused of being a robot caller? In the 80’s?!)
  • Eliciting illicit substances to the young generation who’s of course watching (I’m being wordy by using the word “illicit,” because legalities is not my point. Stop promoting drinking and doing drugs to audiences. Don’t put up a disclaimer, but know your audience!)
  • Deafening sound effects (I’m talking about heavy-eared sound artists tampering with the natural sounds of bicycles and footsteps, not the noisy Jurassic Park-roar-imitating monsters and Freddy-Krueger-like voices … wait, that’s actually Robert Englund playing a taunting dream dude? That’s a satirical, ripoff. Or is that cool?)
  • Unfunny comic relief characters and moments
  • Nickelodeon editing (You know what, that’s an insult to the kid network.)
  • Irksome dialogue of irked characters
  • The disclaimer at the very beginning (I don’t think I would have made a connection to current, real-life events. Where’s the disclaimer for people who get scared in bathrooms, or basketball players who aren’t evil jocks, or nine-year olds who may not want to see the life get sucked from one of the characters to the point of bodily mutilation?)

The opening title sequence/theme song is masterful. And I’ll support the first-season cast of youths. I think there’s some talent there. But that’s about it.

Stupid Things. There are some stupid, poopy things going on here that I can’t get into. It’s almost like the world’s turned … upside down.

Dan Jones

Author Dan Jones

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