Skip to main content

His tears caused her to cry for his wellbeing which was different from how she responded when caught in the extramarital non-sexual emotional affair and to his surprise of the relationship lasting for an entire year even though she privately believed there was something progressive to her character and within that reaction since she planned on ending the connection with the guy the day before she and the guy’s one year anniversary albeit an observation and countup she probably kept track of solo style seeing as the guy wasn’t terribly giving or unique or interesting or witty which encouraged him to ask her to stop weeping out of pity for him and what she’s done to him and their marriage because he didn’t want to be that kind of person in one of those depressing unending relationships and he made sure to add he understood the importance of having secrets in a marriage although certainly not hiding facts comparable to his horrific realization of her infidelity and 364/365 days of weakness but yes to the significance of secrets when placed upright and center next to alternatives such as having too much transparency and living merely for the good of a bond and therefore out of fear of being yourself which is far unhealthier than the more commendable option of having unconditional wishes for each other’s happiness such as taking into account the freedom of private thoughts and allowing momentary human reactions that don’t necessarily hurt the other as simple rules like caring for each other and having the exact amount of restraint to refrain from inconsiderate self-involved impulses and detrimental consequences that would forever damage the other and the relationship itself and with that he didn’t want her to feel bad and worry and apologize because he forgave her immediately in fact before the forgetting could begin knowing the leaving it all behind was going to be the hardest part of this devastating and embarrassing information all of which paralleled her saying she sometimes wished he never would have found out and that the matter could’ve been an uneventful secret that could’ve ended through her actions and therefore empowered her and increased her worth in and contribution to the relationship and what she could specifically do for him and their future which is now an unreachable unchangeable moot point because he forever knows the facts she lent which were based on her awareness of being ultimately accountable for the current state of their relationship outside of whether or not her private thoughts were revealed and also place her as accountable within the contents of each and every day they’d live together which intensifies these sort of actualities and justifies her obliviousness of the reality of how that 365th day and after would have gone and seems to render more embarrassing for her yet he questions the validity of her truth in claiming to forever break it off with the guy and has to ask if she’d be with the guy again if they’d one day meet by chance and she emphatically says no but also defends the guy’s character and attractiveness which apparently was similar to his and should be a compliment and she goes on to say she wouldn’t want to dismiss a human being’s presence and that’s when he recalls the words she used to express her exaggerated and overly romanticized love for the guy in the first place back upon his discovery of the interactions but must ultimately remain clear and away from the endless possibilities because her inside feelings or state of mind and outward approaches are too apparent and confusing to attempt to match and fight against the history he and she had had and to please look forward to what’s next because struggles of the heart that run deep in the veins can’t and never have been mastered and forever eliminated for conscious choosing of that sort is traumatic and tragic and too great and unfathomable to fully comprehend which is the reason for moving on and proves the bond between them could outplay any battle and that they can work through these trying times as well as any similar forthcoming situation and upon this agreement they wipe away each other’s tears as he repeats his genuine words of forgiveness and she reiterates how her hope lies within the two of them and how she’s never going to stray or pursue another man which almost guarantees they can manage going into the future and certainly be aware of the tests along the way including when to reveal and not reveal their reserved fantasies for they mustn’t lose sight of their individual selves since mystery and play have to exist in order for the two to stay in love and endure their sanity and that meant he’d have to keep secret his revenge tale of sticking her tire with a nail knowing full well at the time he’d be responsible for fixing it and would have to switch cars but followed through with the devious deed anyway because it was well worth returning the agony she’d caused him during that time and then there was the day he’d purposely painted the bedroom the wrong color knowing she’d contribute irrelevant debates to the argument surrounding and within the new home for probably years to come which fed his resentment and the main untamed secret he’d never share with her involved the nights he imagined making out with her older brother which could never be revealed because his love for her and her love for him was going to outlast any of the necessary yet unattainable infatuations left unfounded and unsaid.

Dan Jones

Author Dan Jones

More posts by Dan Jones