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What am I supposed to say?

Tell you to watch some rare Christmas movies? Horror movies in the snow?

Should I bring up other holidays? Defend Black Friday?

Do some tactless article title utilizing Black Friday, Black Adam, Black Panther, and the movie Friday (starring black people)?

Do I have to connect everything with our obnoxious social climate?

And why do I have to suggest movies? I’m not even a critic. I’m a movie lover, a filmmaker, a movie watcher, a movie hater, a person who used to live by movies and has internally died with the industry (jeez).

I saw The Menu about a month ago. One of the characters represented all the loudmouths out there. The ones killing the magic. Those who constantly comment and don’t do (whether in life or on YouTube or living as legit fans).

I’m constantly defending myself (others?) about killing the magic of movie making.

But if I’m super interested, can’t I talk about them? Because of “done” it (made movies).

I’m not sure what I’m defending sometimes. (Am I? Defending?)

I don’t want to be a loudmouth. (Probably cool it with the parentheses. It’s been done … by you.)

I watched the Harry Potter movies for an in-between Halloween and Thanksgiving marathon and enjoyed them more than the first time around. I don’t know why that is. Less pressure for them to be perfect? Less pressure to have a perfect-viewing experience? I didn’t even have little ones around. And they’re not very good movies.

Do I suggest watching not-very-good Harry Potter? I don’t think that’s worth an article.

Should I complain – do we have to complain? – about people who spend money on house appliances instead of buying each other presents?

My wife and I almost went to Disney in place of exchanging gifts, justifying that we were getting each other the trip as one big present. But we didn’t have the budget to follow through with it. And that’s not a complaint.

I gave a pretty good Christmas movie list last year. I even mentioned the Funny Farm ending, I see.

I know Hopper from “Stranger Things” has the Santa action/comedy movie out … Should I give my opinion on that?

You know what? If I get just one email to stop writing movie reviews, I’ll do that.

And if I get an email to continue the movie review section of this site, then I’ll continue.

If I get zero emails …

My plan doesn’t make sense, I see.

Uh …  you ever see Frozen from 2010?

[NOTE: That is not a suggestion. I just thought it would be a humorous way to end the article. I might as well recommend The Last Winter from 2006 and pretend it doesn’t fall apart in the third act. Both movies have interesting ideas with terrible moments.  Arctic is actually good. Just not as chilling. Forget this whole thing and watch The Prey to warm up. It was pretty good.]


[NOTE: Maybe I should have recommended Force Majeure and/or Downhill.]


[NOTE: Maybe I should have compared Force Majeure to Downhill. Or butt The Square of 2008 up against The Square of 2017 and ask why the first doesn’t immediately come up when searching on Is it too late to compare the themes and questions of moral character in Triangle of Sadness with The Menu?]


[NOTE: Force Majeure, The Square, and Triangle of Sadness are all directed by Ruben Östlund.]


[NOTE: Merry Christmas.]

This one

Not this one


Dan Jones

Author Dan Jones

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